Saturday, December 6, 2008

Reader beware, your in for a scare.

I saw two girls play gigs at a bar in Northcote last night. Each played a set of folksy acoustic guitar sung with a mix of whimsical and heartfelt lyrics. So of course, I fell in love with them.
But it’s a trap. A trap as old as time, like Bugs Bunny fooling Elmer Fudd.

I don’t care who you are, if you see a beautiful young woman in an oh-so-sweet dress on a stage with an acoustic guitar, and she is looking at you while singing songs about unrequited love and about times past, you are going to melt.

Now the female acoustic folksy genre is dangerous territory. It has to be something exceptional, otherwise it falls in an ocean of mediocrity that’s awash with bland artists who put on a charade of being arty just because they shop at op shops and wear things with flowers on them.
Thankfully these girls did not fall into that category. They were original, meaningful, relevant and captivating.

Not like those girls in their single strap Mary Jane shoes and floral dresses, who walk the laneways of Melbourne with their SLR cameras and photograph absolutely nothing. The girls who then go home and paint a picture of a daffodil whilst drawing inspiration from the incense stick they bought from a little boutique as it burns away on their desk. Then they lie on their bed looking at a poster of another unoriginal folksy so and so, but a famous so and so, while updating their Facebook status to sunshine and flippin’ lollipops.

But I still love them. And still fall for them…

It never works though, just like communism or doing a shot at 3 in the morning after already drinking too much. Good in theory but in reality ends very badly. They come into your life with such promise, a breath of fresh air that makes your spirit soar. She’s someone who is so full of life and creativity and sincerity. They have that irresistible mix of modesty and self-confidence, a real take home to your mum kind of girl. Playing you songs in the park over a picnic on a sunny Sunday afternoon. They are romantic, feminine and heartfelt, a real catch.

It’s all a trap, for beware, it’s a mirage for the true reality of their existence. While it is true that some girls like this are the real deal and do exist, it’s very rare and near impossible to find. The truth is that these girls are dull, really dull. They have no substance and like the music they spew forth from their deceivingly pretty faces, will drive you nuts. There will be a point in the relationship, whether its lying in bed or while looking at them over a cup of coffee, where you will snap and realise, “What the hell is this?”

“Sam” you may say, “is this all pent up anger and frustration from things gone wrong in the past? Or is this just jealousy?!!”

To which I may say, “Possibly… Quite possibly.”

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